Resolution Progress: 2011

February has been determined as the month of giving up; it is the month during which most people throw their hands up and admit defeat--giving up on their resolutions before the year has even started. It is for this reason, along with Valentine's Day, that Gala Darling deemed February Radical Self-Love Month. I thought a personal analyzation of priorities and progress would be wise.

I wanted to read more.

Steps I Have Taken: I've purchased a good majority of the books I hope to read. I have also done a lot of research and developed a lengthy to-read list.

Steps I Need to Take: Pretty self-explanatory; make time to read, and actually do it.

I wanted to focus on school more.

Steps I Have Taken: I have paid much more attention in math and it looks like--if I keep heading in this direction--I will earn all A's (with the exception of math, most likely) this semester. I have also enrolled in online and summer courses so I can create a schedule that I will enjoy for my senior year next year.

Steps I Need to Take: I need to procrastinate a bit less and work ahead so I experience less stress.

I wanted to stop drinking soda.

I have completely given up soda and haven't had a drop to drink in 2011. Wahoo!

I wanted to get to the point where I am comfortable in my own skin + love myself.

Steps I Have Taken: I have done a lot of positive things, i.e. my cleanse, taking care of my body, and focusing on my interests and academics over romance.

Steps I Need to Take: I need to get back on track in regards to health and wellness. It isn't that I'm eating unhealthily--I'm just intaking more dairy + processed foods than I would like to. I would also like to severely cut back in my coffee intake.

I wanted to blog more often.

Successful so far!

As far as goals for February, I have succeeded in avoiding fast food completely. I still need to work out more often, cut back my Starbucks intake by quite a bit, + find a job. But I realize and accept that change is a process, and I am giving myself the time that I need to adjust.

How are your goals coming along?

xoxo, Maddie

Paint.

It feels like spring. The first rain of the season has begun pouring outside, thunder and lightning. Mud puddles. Driving with the windows down. Heart-shaped, Lolita sunglasses. Bottles of paint. Gas station sinks covered with rainbow splatters as we scrub our hair clean. Car washes. Summer dresses. We're jumping to conclusions and clinging on to the sunlight. Frappucinos replace our steaming mochas. Run fast.

xoxo, Maddie

P.S. I apologize for my lack of blogging; I have been really stressed out lately, but things are looking up!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I would be lying if I told you that today has been all heart-shaped chocolates and a bundle of roses; it has actually been a terrible day for many reasons, none of which, surprisingly, include being single on Valentine's Day. But all is well, as tonight I will spend my evening at Courtney & I's Anti-Valentine's Day party with all of my favorite people!

The photo above is a studio piece that I worked on over the weekend. The prompt was a "six word memoir," which is pretty self explanatory. The memoir I created was "she felt deeply and took photographs," so I created this! I sculpted the heart from a multitude of found objects, and it is nestled into the jar with a lot of film negatives. I really love the way it turned out.

Despite my rough patch of a day, I wish you all the best Valentine's day. I hope it is wonderful for each and every one of you, single or happily entwined!

xoxo, Maddie

25 Things to Do Before Declaring Boredom!

Along with winter restlessness has come the age old complaint; the plague that hits us each, leaving us with a feeling of laziness and a restless sense of unfulfilled ambition--boredom. I have read my fair share of inspiration books, artist manifestos, & blog posts to understand one simple concept--boredom is entirely mental. In fact, should you choose not to believe it, boredom does not even exist!

Boredom. An emotional state experienced during periods lacking activity, or when individuals are uninterested in the opportunities surrounding them.

I myself am quite guilty of making such assumptions. Dog days spent at home or trapped inside are usually the most creatively draining times for me; I label my restlessness as boredom + spend the afternoon curled up in front of my laptop in defeat, without even trying!

I challenge you to make an effort to avoid the hovering temptation of declaring yourself as "bored"! Take conscious and thrilling steps to begin enjoying your life + filling each moment with juicy suspense and adventure.

• Create an elaborate “to read” and “to watch” list. Ask your role models, best friends, and strangers on the street which books and films they can’t live without. Assemble a ridiculously lengthy list and post it aside your inspiration board, or within your sketchbook. Next time you find yourself spending a Friday night in, order a movie or curl up with that novel!
• Teach yourself a new skill. Drag out the old guitar that you always wanted to learn to play + watch youtube editorials. Download instructions for creating origami or learning to knit!
• Paint. It is incredibly therapeutic.
• Create a wish tree. Write your deepest and most sincere secrets, desires, wishes, and goals on tiny slips of paper, and tie each to the tiny branches of a tree or branch with fabulous ribbon.
• Rent boxed sets of your favorite television show. Endless entertainment.
• Go antique shopping.
• Research new recipes and cook up something radically delicious!
• Work ahead on your schoolwork. I know, I know, but really! It will free up more time within your week.
• Search for new music to listen to! Amazon.com usually makes pretty accurate suggestions based on what you’ve previously viewed, and you can make a Pandora Radio account + listen to new music without any effort.
• Create a scrumptious package for one of your long-distance buddies, or snail mail your best friend a hand-painted post card.
• Paint your toenails or give yourself an intricate, classy Sharpie tattoo.
• Read up on your daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly horoscopes! Do some research on your star sign. Believe in it all or not, it’s an incredibly interesting topic.
• Bake a cake.
• Challenge yourself to picking out five new outfits from your closet that you’ve never worn before.
• Invest in some excellent incense.
• Watch slam poetry on youtube.
• Read some of your old fashion magazines from years (or even months) ago. It’s so interesting to see how fashion evolves, and you may find hidden inspiration through old issues.
• Write yourself a boredom manifesto.
• Create a mix CD for someone you care about or admire.
• Make yourself a smoothie and some fabulous trail mix.
• Hot glue jewels onto your library card.
• Play dress up within your closet!
• Write yourself an unbelievably lengthy and detailed love letter.
• Have a photoshoot with yourself + laugh at your own ridiculous expressions!
• Redecorate your inspiration board so the images are in touch with your current inspirations + goals!

xoxo, Maddie

Weekly Musings: Roller Derby + Enrollment!

Skipping our winter formal for roller derby. Last Saturday was our school's winter formal dance, and Courtney and I chose to skip it for roller derby! We spent the evening cheering on the Black Eyed Susan's + Victory Vixens, then came home and acted like total dorks + recording videos of us singing into my webcam. We keep it classy, ladies.

Enrollment for senior year. Holy cow, the last three years have flown by so quickly. I just filled out my enrollment form for classes next year, and I am bursting with excitement. If everything goes correctly, I should have a schedule of College Credit English, College Algebra, International Baccalaureate (IB) Art II, Pottery I & II, Painting III, Drawing III, Graphic Design I & II, and a teacher's assistant hour for one of my favorite teachers! I am completely and utterly ecstatic!

Interview with Guerilla Girls! Today Courtney and I held an interview with infamous feminist art activists Guerilla Girls! You should definitely do some research on them if you haven't heard of them before--they are amazing. The interview will be published in the upcoming spring issue of Missfits, which will be released on March 1st. Get excited!

Honorable mentions. Getting my acceptance letter into National Honors Society! Pasta study parties with my fantastic friends. Another snow day. Drinking my first chocolate + caffeinated beverage in over a month. (We all need to splurge sometime!) Watching boxed sets of Ellen (her 90's sitcom) on days off. Joining the Radical Self Love group on facebook. & more!

How was your week?

xoxo, Maddie

Ennui.

Ennui. Boredom; listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest and motivation, resulting in lack of effort.

I just wanted to be honest with everyone about why I've been posting less and less. While I am still excited for February and the opportunities it will continue to bring, I have hit a bit of a rough patch as of lately. To be completely honest, I think it could have something to do with introducing toxins back into my diet all too quickly; I should have eased back in by not eating meat or dairy at all (though I have been cutting back significantly). This week is one of the first full weeks of school we have had for quite some time because of snow, and I am exhausted. I keep falling asleep and taking naps after school that last a few hours, and I am stressed nearly to breaking point. Thursday morning, I have a really lengthy + tenuous essay test over the Mexican revolution, in which we pick 6 out of 8 questions to study and outline in bulk, and the morning of the test, they will draw three of them, and we will pick one to write on. I know barely anything about the unit, and it has been really difficult to soak up the lectures + information because of the week-long breaks of terrible weather in between and the absence of my teacher due to illness. So, if you could, wish me luck.

I am in no means trying to create a self pity post, I just wanted to make everyone aware of why my posting frequency has decreased significantly. Everything should be back to normal by this weekend, if everything goes well. I've also decided to make some changes to my lifestyle to incorporate more inspiration + energy. I am going to be picking up EFT, practicing Radical Self Love, re-reading The Secret, creating daily affirmations, drinking more water and eating more naturally (though I have been, I've still been taking in a lot of toxins through processed crackers, etc versus organic options), + increasing my amount of weekly exercise. I am easing into these things at a comfortable pace because of everything that has been going on.

Thank you for your support, as always.

xoxo, Maddie

That Girl.

That girl, she is the queen of the neighborhood... That girl, she holds her head up so high, I think I wanna be her best friend. Rebel girl, you are the queen of my world. I think I wanna take you home, I wanna try on your clothes. When she talks, I hear the revolution. In her hips, there's revolution. When she walks, the revolution's coming. In her kiss, I taste the revolution. Bikini Kill.

She pops her gum a bit too loud + haphazardly paints her fingernails with acrylic. She goes apartment hunting in a mustard yellow fedora + houndstooth trench-coat. Bluegrass and pop blast through her headphones as she delicately applies her fake eyelashes at 5:30 AM. Her grocery list includes sparklers, yellow balloons and vanilla icing, and it's just a regular Tuesday afternoon. She watches CNN with disdain and interest, then hours on end of Ally McBeal. She styles her hair in a beehive to go to her Thursday morning figure-drawing class. She roller skates twice a week after classes just because she can. She is exquisite.

xoxo, Maddie

Weekly Musings: Zines + Nutrition!

This week was filled with even more snow, a surprising amount of creativity, and a huge change in regards to my cleanse!

Snow days. To give you an accurate perspective of how fantastic my week has been, I spent the majority of yesterday in a blanket fort, sipping on a banana smoothie and watching Juno. Golden.

Getting packages in the mail! Emily, a good friend of mine that I met through blogging a few years ago, sent me a surprise package including some of her favorite zines from high school + some stickers! I jumped up and down with excitement like a total dork.

Creating my own zine! I was so inspired by Emily's package that I decided to create my own, which you can see peeking out towards the right side in the photo above. I slept over at Courtney's last night + we spent our evening and morning carefully creating our own publication. We decided to call it That Teenage Feeling, and it will be available in my etsy shop as soon as we finish!

Re-Opening my etsy shop! I probably should have explained the significance behind the name Imagine Pirineos; in junior high, my friend and I created a journal about an imaginary place, and all of our friends wrote inspiring things in it--anything that represented their escape from reality. When trying to figure out a name, we saw a map of Spain in foreign language class with a place labeled "Pirineos." I created my etsy shop later that year and assumed it would be the perfect name! It seems silly now, since it has little to no relevance anymore, but that's the origin. Anyway, it was really exciting to re-open, thank you to those of you that showed interest!

Creating posters for Missfits. I decided to create some posters to gain contributors! I printed out 25 or so yesterday + plan to paste them around school and in the women's studies section of Borders. If any of you are interested in helping to spread the word in your city, I would be happy to email you the document! It would be greatly appreciated! You can email me here.

Coming to a decision about my cleanse. To those of you who follow me on twitter, you know I've been struggling with my cleanse. To be perfectly honest, I haven't been completely truthful with all of you about my health along the way--I've gained a lot of energy and benefits from my cleanse, such as weight loss + improved skin quality, but it has also taken a toll on me physically. I have had some trouble staying awake in the day + waking up in the morning, and I've experienced a lot of symptoms that an anemic friend of mine thinks could be early signs of anemia if not fixed immediately. (This, of course, was completely my own fault, because I slacked in taking my dietary supplements.) The cleanse was a complete success, but on Tuesday, which was exactly halfway point, I began to notice that it was leading to an almost unhealthy view of food. I had been eating less and less each day + almost avoiding food, noticing how easily I could control calorie intake. This, among the other symptoms, as well as further research that led me to discover that most doctors recommend two weeks at most made me reach the decision that I would slowly incorporate regular foods back into my diet. I do not consider this a failure, as I feel I reached all of the goals that I originally set for myself. The night before I began, I wrote an entry in my food journal about what I was trying to accomplish, + upon analyzing each goal, I really feel like I achieved each one with flying colors. To continue on would have led to health problems, possible bingeing, + an unhealthy view of eating. So, at this point, I am ready to return to normal, and I consider my journey a success. I've learned a lot, and I am still totally excited to be eating healthier and natural foods.

Honorable mentions. Getting selected for National Honors Society at school. Having little to no homework (we only went to school on Monday!). Choosing to ditch the school dance this Saturday night to go watch Roller Derby instead. Watching fabulous movies. Drinking banana shakes. Cooking + grocery shopping for yummy, healthy food. Getting emails from blog readers. Laughter with people I love.

How was your week?

xoxo, Maddie

Introducing My Etsy!

Etsy imaginepirineos

Hello, everyone! As I mentioned in my last post, I've been a bit short on cash as of lately, so I decided to sell some of my old dresses, antiques, and jewelry! I'll be updating it a lot within the next month to include handmade brooches, zines of my writing, + more, but I spent this morning filling it with goodies! Check it out, if you'd like.

Thank you!

xoxo, Maddie

Surviving a Snowpocalypse!

I woke up this morning to snow outside my window, as far as the eye could see. Throughout the day, heavy winds pounded even more frail snowflakes against my windowpane, gradually piling up to what I can only guess is at least a foot, and showing no signs of stopping. Needless to say, I have no school today or tomorrow, (where I live, weather this extreme is uncommon, + this is the biggest winter storm here in twenty years!), and I am bored out of my mind. Mindlessly droning about on the internet left much to be desired, and I want to guarantee myself adventure within the next few days. This is my to-do list, or, in other words, How to Survive the Snowpocalypse!

• Construct yourself a blanket fort of epic proportions. I'm doing this as soon as I hop out of bed tomorrow!
• Create an emergency supply kit of fun. Or, in other words, grab a box and toss in your favorite books, craft supplies, journals, pens + pencils, zines, a kettle of tea, + scrumptious snacks.
• Make yourself a banana shake! Mmmm. (Toss in two bananas, some soy milk, & ice into the blender!)
• Create an inspiration board for 2011.
• Write letters to your loved ones. Get a head start on valentines!
• Go internet free for the entire day. Do it. I dare you.
• Pop in one of your favorite CD's, play dress up, and dance to your heart's content.
• Write yourself a fight boredom manifesto, or read Amber's.
• Find some old antique frames and fill them with your favorite snapshots, drawings, love letters, magazine advertisements, or recipes. Paint them funky colors!
• Write poetry on an old typewriter.
• Wear fabulous hats, or adorn your plain ones with jewels + sequins!

Also, I have a quick question! In regards to income, my photography career is really slow right now because of the winter weather, and I am a bit low on cash. And, by low on cash, I mean flat broke. If I were to re-open my etsy shop + stock it full of vintage dresses, poetry zines, handmade brooches, & prints of my photography, would you be interested? Please comment + let me know! I apologize for the blatant commercialism here, I just want to know if it would be worth my time.

Enjoy your snowpocalypse.

xoxo, Maddie

I Am.

I am insecure. I am confident. I am uncertain and unprepared. I am excited for the future. Sometimes, I am too loud and I speak out of turn. I get easily agitated, and my desire to be right leads to a lot of pointless bickering. I seem to have an inability to let things go, and for that I am sorry. I am opinionated and politically passionate. Sometimes, I am too argumentative. I will sometimes offend you. People will tell lies about me, and make assumptions. Sometimes, I will be judged on not the content of my character but on things I lack control over. I am not perfect.

I am an artist. I see the world in splashes of color; as photographs through a scratch-covered lens. I feel too deeply and love too strongly. I attach myself to emotions, memories, and people almost immediately. Latching on and craving deep, meaningful connection. I am easily hurt. Lack of control horrifies me.

I probably talk about feminism too much. I am infatuated with certain subjects, and I develop obsessions with the things that inspire me. I spend all of my money on white chocolate mochas and books. I want to work at an antique store. I fall in love with people I barely know who can never love me back. I drive a white car. I don't like soup. Most of the time, I wear brown moccasins with black leggings. One of my best friends lives 2,000 miles away. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I am the editor of a feminist fashion magazine. I've written my deepest emotions all over this blog for two and a half years. I make you mad too often. I care too much about what others think of me. I depend too much on the opinions of others.

And yet, I am.

I say these things as a reclamation. I am trying to become the best I can be. I am running towards the balance between fitting in and standing out. I am struggling to find myself. And yet, none of my faults, none of my positive traits decide my identity. I don't know who I am, or what that even means.

I simply am.