Thursday, May 26, 2011
One day of school + three final exams stand between several months of sweet, glorious freedom and I. I am filled with excitement and yearning.. Too happy to sleep. After months of academia, I have reached the clearing and I am ready for the joy that these endless months of rejuvenation will bring.
And this year, it is a bit more significant than usual. When I return in the fall, I will be a senior, getting ready to complete my final year of high school and apply for art school. It is bittersweet, to say the least.
Time flies inexplicably fast. I visited two of my favorite teachers today at the middle school I attended four years ago... It was so odd to see them again, and to walk into each of their classrooms and smell the same familiar scent as before. It's as if you think that when you leave, time will stand still. But everyone keeps living and evolving, constantly.
Perhaps I am simply a sentimental person that attaches too much emotional value to the littlest details and fragments of my life. But something about moving forward brings me both sadness and joy. Last night I watched my little brother attend his sixth grade graduation, and as they sang a corny rendition of "Don't Stop Believing," I (embarrassingly) started to tear up. It honestly seems like just yesterday that all of my classmates and I were at our elementary school graduation. You waltz into middle school halls, expecting to stay friends with the same people, but you all become new people. You grow into the adults you will be.
You will see the same kids that you grew up with in the halls ever so often and exchange knowing eye contact and recognition at minimum, or perhaps more, perhaps less. But people grow and change, and time flies by. Now, this time next year, I will be walking across a stage in cap and gown with those same kids. We will be released into the world to do as we always have; to grow, to observe, to create, to learn, and to love.
But for now, I will put my over-analyzations and thoughts to rest + enjoy my summer.
Sweet, sweet summer.
Friday, May 20, 2011
I am surviving these last few school days on a diet of coffee, water, and naps. These are days about late night studying, civil war readings, and math tests, but they are the last to come for weeks and months on end. I am developing a list of things to do this summer that will make it the best of my entire life.
Things are turning out exactly how I'd like them to. I can't help but smile despite all of the hard work, because really, in seven days, it will all be over and down time will stretch on endlessly. These are days about developing film, brand new red shoes, + procrastination.
Let finals week begin.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I have reached the end of my academic nightmare and can see the light ahead. Two more weeks of a light workload and then summer's sweet taste will once again fall upon my lips.
Bliss is falling asleep holding hands with your best friend. Developing film on a Friday night and watching movies that shock you back into life. I am finally regathering my mental strength and reaching a point where I crave action and change once again. My slumber has ended and I am full of life.
Tonight I watched An Education and was blown away, to say the least. The struggle between education versus life fulfillment is exactly what I have been struggling with myself over the past few months. I suppose in the end, it is always important to learn and thirst for knowledge and to educate yourself on the world that surrounds you. Yet at the end of the day, what you'll find most valuable is the memories you made along the way and the life experiences that led you to that knowledge.
"These past few months I have eaten in wonderful restaurants and been to jazz clubs and watched wonderful films, heard beautiful music... Maybe all of our lives are going to end up with essays or housework. And yes, maybe we'll go to Oxford, but if we're all going to die the moment we graduate, isn't it what we do before that counts?"
Food for thought.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
I realized a few weeks ago that I had neglected to write up a March in Review post, then woke up this morning to see "May 1st" blinking across the screen of my phone. It is unbelievable how quickly time has passed, yet how slow it feels as it's happening. So without further ado, March and April in review!
Highlights. Triumphing over mountains and mountains of academic stress. Releasing the second issue of Missfits. Beginning work on the next issue. Twenty stars closer to a gold member at Starbucks. Spending the weekend at a local art institute. Getting inducted into National Honors Society. Tackling the ACT and scoring well. Reading more frequently.
Downfalls. Regressing into unhealthy habits. The mountains of academic stress before I conquered them (and they keep coming). Spending my money a little to irresponsibly. Not blogging enough.
Objectives for May: I kept up in my goals of spending less time on the internet, procrastinating less, and reading more often. However, there are a few things I would like to change.
- Power through the rest of the school year. Only four more weeks, I got this!
- Exercise a minimum of two times per week and stop eating processed food again. I felt so much better when keeping these habits up!
- Spend less money during the week (and weekend!) I have decided to stop spending money and going out during the week aside from rare exceptions, and my weekly allowance will be my only source of spending money. This way I can begin saving once again!
- Find a job. I have applied at Hobby Lobby and a local coffee shop, fingers crossed!
How have the past few months been for you? xoxo, Maddie