August Break: Day One.

I decided that it would be easier to post once at the end of each week with the photos from each day rather than posting daily. Today, however, I wanted to kick off the program. This morning I enjoyed a cup of coffee from my favorite mug and the company of a wonderful new book called Anthropology of an American Girl. I was worried that it would be full of cliches and gender roles, but it is actually a fantastic confrontational + relatable book.

Enjoying the sound of silence.
xo, Maddie.

The August Break 2011.

I wanted to take a moment to explain a few things. First of all, I know that my writing has been sparse this summer, but I can explain this by assuring you all that the time off has been spent rejuvenating and running around, partaking in summertime activities. Nonetheless, I apologize for my absence. But there are a few things I've been needing to catch you up on lately.

August Break 2011. I have been feeling completely drained as of recently. As I described in my previous post, I am elated, yet at the same time, exhausted. I have decided that it would be good for me to take a small break from the internet. My good friend Audrey sent me a link to The August Break 2011, and it sounded perfect for me. Basically, I am going to be blogging a single photograph each day. I may accompany it with some words, or I may not. I generally post a back to school intentions post sometime in August as well as a Style Manifesto, but I think I'm going to give myself some time to really think these things through and post them in early September. I hope you can understand.

Other than these photo posts + tweeting via my phone, I will be completely disconnected from the internet (besides attending to things for Missfits, which isn't really an option). I cannot wait. I am going to use this time to eat naturally + really think about the things I'm taking in. I'm also going to partake in a serious organizational purging to clean my room + really decide what I need and what I can part with. I'm also going to try to sketch and write a little each day. A friend of mine recently showed me the 750 words project, which sounds perfect. I want to read the dozens of books collecting dust on my bookshelf. I want to stretch and exercise and feel powerful in my own strength. In short, I am ready for a major lifestyle cleanse.

Thank you for understanding.

xo, Maddie

All Things Go.

It's wanting to run away and start anew, yet still holding onto the threads that create your treasured reality. I have never felt such a strong desire to throw a few things into a suitcase and drive to somewhere I have never been before. To become anonymous in a city unknown and unexplored. Yet I am running, fleeing the change that is predestined to arrive at any moment. I'm spending every possible second with my friends and holding on to these precious memories in the making. I am terrified of losing them. I've never been so afraid and yet so restless and alive.

I drove home past midnight the evening of my birthday, thinking over the day's events. I had just parted with my friends after one of the greatest nights of my life. As I smiled and replayed the minutes and freshly painted memories in my mind, I burst into tears. Relentless.

I am both the happiest and the saddest I have ever been. I am ready for the change and the growth that inevitably awaits me, yet I am chasing after my childhood, reaching and hoping to grasp any remaining time.

I want to tell you how much you mean to me. I want to tell you how much you have shaped my world; how much influence your simple friendship has had over my life. I want to share my whole universe with you.

This is the hardest thing that I will face. I will face each day in appreciation and I will live.

xo, Maddie

Seventeen.

I have exactly ten minutes left as a sixteen-year-old. I'm listening to Sweet Sixteen by Hilary Duff like a complete and utter dork, enjoying the relevance of the lyrics for one last time. Seventeen. Approaching my senior year with real life responsibilities and opportunities. Doors opening left and right as I leave others behind.

It is so strange to think about myself at this time last year. I have grown an unbelievable amount throughout these last twelve months--I have changed both in appearance and mindset. The fifteen-almost-sixteen-year-old me of last summer seems almost unrecognizable. So young.

Sixteen was one of the greatest years of my life. I feel so incredibly blessed by the things I have experienced, the people I have met, the opportunities I have been given, and the memories I have made. If seventeen is even remotely close to the magic of sixteen, I cannot wait.

There is something so strange about growing up. My friends and are I facing the time of our lives. The gateway to our futures in which we must face our perpetually procrastinated "when-I-grow-up's" and decide which path we'll take to the rest of our lives. This year will bring many milestones as I apply for college, graduate from high school, and experience the pain of leaving old friends behind and greeting the new.

Something about birthdays has always scared me, in a way. When I was a little kid, I would always hide in the bathroom before my birthday parties as the guests arrived, crying until my mimi came in to coax me back outside. She would always use a warm washcloth to wipe away my tears and ask me what was wrong, and I always answered, "I am growing up."

Now it is time to face my fears and my forever's-and-ever's with open arms. I am here, and I am ready. Here's to another wonderful year.

Seventeen.

xo, Maddie.